Day 37

So it is a new day, and the page in the book has turned to show a fresh start.
However, the memories and lessons learned in the past will reflect in the future.
They help her realize that she has become someone she is not proud of.
She fell victim to the systems and values of people she thought were like here.
As time went on though she realized that she never really fit in,
but yet she changed all her perspectives and values in life just to please them.
She would not know until later that by doing this she was losing herself.
Time passed and she always wondered why she did things she did not like.
She would say, "Why am I laughing at this? It's not even funny?"
Slowly she realized she was not the person who she wanted to be anymore.
Those three weeks during the summer before senior year she realized it all.
She was done with fitting in and always trying to please others before herself.
She learned if you try to be everything to every body you will be nothing to yourself.
It was time and she was going to be herself, whether her "friends" liked it or not.
This year in school will be the best year ever, and she is living it for God and herself.
Because not only did she realize that she needed to be herself and no one else,
but she realized that she had lost sight of who truly matters, God.
No matter what he was and will always be by her side even if no one else it.
In the end if that is all she has that is all she needs to be happy.
She is going to live for God, live by faith and not by sight!
For in the end God made her who she is for a reason.
She is not going to waste the glorious life that he gave her.
She will not waste it to please others who are not as important as he.
It is final and she will be herself, and if others can not accept that well you can not please everyone.
--A.Mi! <3

Day 36

From the beginning she thought she could never fall for someone like you,
but as most times go something comes along and changes that.
She never really talked to you much before that one day,
but in a matter of seconds she realized how much there was in common.
It was like a puzzle and the only piece she was missing was you.
She knew what was happening, because it has happened to her before.
Another fall which would lead to another heart break.
However as always, she wanted to believe that this time would be different.
So the time passed on sharing laughter and singing those sweet melodic songs.
"Lucky to be in love with my best friend" she could not believe a guy would sing that song,
but you surprised her and knew all they lyrics to it. Bringing a smile to her face.
She could not remember the last time since she had felt this happy,
and she was not prepared for what happened next, the kiss.
She knew it was wrong, but it felt so right and there was nothing she could do but be happy.
After that night she slept with the biggest smile on her face.
The days after that as always seemed so long, but the weeks became even shorter.
Always looking forward to the dances she knew that she would not have to be alone.
This was the one place where she knew she fit it, and she did not have to change who she was.
When she danced with him she felt like she was floating on air, and she was invincible.
As it all goes though all happy endings have to come to an end.
The last day came and she knew she would have to say goodbye, even if only for now.
She was in the auditorium he already left, and she feared she would not get to say goodbye.
She ran towards the cafeteria and saw him there, and all time stopped.
She was on her toes and hugging him for what might be the last time.
That moment she cherished the most,
and she remembered what he said "Don't cry",
and she did not cry, at least while she was spending those last few seconds with him.
However, once she got in the car the tears would not stop.
The next day she received the message that said it all, "Do you really think this is a good idea?"
It broke her heart, and it was practically the end of the perfect friendship.
The memory of it still haunts her to this day,
but maybe it is what she needs to get stronger.
The way she saw the situation was time to build higher walls.
At least until they are ready to fall again.
Now she is just left standing there wondering what if?
--A.Mi...

Story 1: Traitor

She stood there at the beginning of her freshmen year wondering what would happen.
Would she make new friends, or would she keep the old?
She had no clue where her story would begin at all until she saw him.
Of course he was nice, but she was too smart, or so she thought.
She knew she could not trust him, and she knew exactly who he was and what made him infamous.
However, she started to talk to him and day by day she realized a lot.
She thought maybe he wasn't as bad as everyone said.
He's different than what people have told her.
So it was then that she started to put her trust in him.
Little by little she started to open up to him day by day.
Their friendship grew into a bright blossom.
She was always happy with him, and she thought he was the best friend ever.
Their feelings for stronger began to grow stronger with each day.
They both knew that this friendship had grown into something much more.
She started to fall for him, and he started to fall for her.
They shared their feelings with each other, and nothing tore them apart.
It was the first time in awhile that she truly felt happy, and she wasn't going to let anyone ruin that.
Sure they didn't get to talk everyday, but they still had a strong relationship.
Until one day when the thorn among the roses came upon it all.
Now she had a pretty off day to start, and then her "friend" said she had to tell her something terrible.
She told her "friend" to tell it to her quick because she just wanted to know.
Then the "friend" told her how the boy was telling her lies and how in reality she meant nothing to him.
She lost it and reached her breaking point.
She cut off from him like the fresh cut of a newly formed wound.
He wanted to know why; she didn't want to explain it at all because it hurt to much.
So they grew apart not to talk until a later time.
That's when the "friend" said that those words she spoke about him were lies and she was just jealous at the time.
That was when the girl realized she screwed everything up.
She trusted the words of a traitor over the words of someone she trusted her life with.
A year passed and the girl ran into the boy where she first had met him.
Their eyes locking on contact, and with both very different looks.
Her eyes were filled with sorrow and were not nearly as bright the first time she met him.
His eyes were filled with loss and questions.
Why did you leave, and why couldn't you explain it to me?
She realized she would never be able to tell him that she trusted the words of a traitor.
It would kill her to much, and she had already done so much damage.
This "friend" was never truly a friend just a traitor in disguise ready to wreck havoc wherever possible.
So remember this learn who your friends are.
Also, keep your friends close but best friends even closer.
You never know who the thorn among the roses will be.
In the end it can cost you one of the best friendships that you ever had.
--A.Mi...

Day 35

So another day has come to pass, and everything seems to be hurrying on by.
When will there be a time where everything just comes to a stop,
and where we can all realize the beauty that lies within the Earth itself.
For if we spend everyday of our lives worrying about what is going to happen next
We will never come to know the true beauty within ourselves and others.
She always wondered if anyone would realize who she was within.
She always had a smile on her face and never showed how she truly felt.
She did such things because she feared of being hurt yet again.
What if she were to fall for the wrong guy again; she could not survive something so painful.
Everyone always said she was always so easy to read, never a day could she ever lie.
But what they did not realize is that she had become so well at lying that no one could tell the difference.
Except for a select few they always knew that she was not doing okay even when she said she was fine.
They were her true friends, although there were not many they were the ones who guided her through it all.
Without them she would have been absolutely lost within the chaos of this thing we call life.
So she goes on day by day hiding her feelings and trying to get through it all.
Not wanting to bring down anyone else with her like she did before,
Because in the past she lost many people who meant a lot to her.
However, that is the past and it is too late to go back and change that all as she has said before.
On her journey she finds who belongs and wants to make the right choices.
She has learned now that it is better to say how she feels rather than hold her feelings in.
Even if it means she will get hurt again she always knows someone will be there ready to catch her,
And if they are not there she is learning to become stronger and build herself up.
For nothing can hold her down, not even the darkest of all the hours left to come.
She goes on with life with her head held high and starts to tell everyone how she feels.
She did not leave anyone out of her stories at all.
For as you can see each story that she will come to write will be how she truly feels about that person.
It will be the truth and people may get hurt, but in the end they must realize how they made her feel.
They put her down or brought her up, but in the end the story is what will tell the truth.
So as you read this and start to wonder remember if you have treated others the way you want to be treated,
Because one of the stories might just end up being about you.
--A.Mi.

Day 34

Although it has been awhile since she has been on this last nothing has changed.
She still goes through the struggles of trying to figure out who belongs and who does not.
What is really a dream, and what has become a reality to her.
Some may say the answer to these questions are relatively easy she would say different.
Even though she would like to say that everything you want will fall into its place.
That is not always the reality. There will be heartbreak and you will lose people,
but everything will come together. It may not happen in a day, a week, or even a year.
The truth is it may take a few years for everything to come together the way you want it to be,
but let it be known that if you do not have a happy ending it is not the ending just quite yet.
She knows from experience that the good things in life never come easy.
Also, that through our losses and heartbreak we truly come to learn who we are.
It builds us up so that we learn who we can trust and who we can love.
For as you may or may not know life can be very deceiving.
Also, that to see the beauty in life you have to go through some of the tough things first.
But always remember that no matter how bad life gets there is always someone there to help you through it.
So keep your head held high and don't be afraid to let your emotions shine through,
because if you aren't true to yourself then you will never find out who you truly are.
--A.Mi.

Day 33

He said he would never want to hurt her,
but inside she feels more pain than anything she has ever felt before.
So, she'll walk with a smile on her face and head held high,
because she could never show him how she truly feels.
The fear of rejection and pain is just too much to bear.
Oh how she wishes she could go back in time
To go to find a place where nothing but happiness was found.
However, she will not go to find that place, because for the first time
she can show to the world how she truly feels.
She is fragile and has been broken many times,
but yet she does not want to give up hope this time.
She thinks can be different,
but as of lately she does not know where anything is going.
Only time can tell if her heart will mend or only break more.
All she knows is that she will not let it happen again.
She is tired of having to hide her emotions like nothing is wrong at all;
next time it happens she is going to let all her tears out and tell him what's wrong.
--A.Mi....

Day 32

everyone says that it won't last,
and it will just be harder to get over it if she lets this go on.
she doesn't care though it's what makes her happy.
she could be having one of the worst days in her world,
and then his smile makes her worst day brighter.
she knows that he hurt her in the past,
and she isn't sure if she forgives him yet.
that doesn't stop her though she'll go on smiling and caring just the same.
he means the world to her, and she will do anything for him.
they've been through the same battles at different times
he understands her,
and she understands him.
they complete each other in perfect unity,
but if friendship is all that it will be she will smile.
it doesn't matter what happens
as long as they are friends and nothing changes
she will be happy
--A.Mi! (:

Day 31

even though everything around her seemed to come to a stop
that was when she realized something rather important
no matter how hard she would try to stop
she would never be able to forget those words that he said
he would always be her best friend, but she felt like something was missing
she had told him that she forgave him for it all,
and he doesn't have to worry about it at all.
she tried her hardest to believe that it was true,
but it wouldn't settle in her mind.
she was hurt and doesn't know how to forget what had happened.
she knows it's not good to dwell on the past,
but how can she not when that's all that is on her mind.
the days seem to go on forever in her head
constantly replaying that night over again in her head,
and how much she wanted it all to be a hallucination.
she doesn't want to tell him that she lied,
because she's never lied to him before.
the mere thought of it wandered in her mind every night.
how could she lie about the one feeling that meant the most to her
sometimes we never know why we do something,
but we still do it anyway.
it's the thoughts that come from the smallest thing that can be stuck forever in our minds.
--A.Mi....